It’s the small talk that leads to the big talk, writes Allison Graham for Fast Company in a recent story for the magazine’s website. Here’s how to uncover common interests and the six degrees that separate you and a potential client.

1. The goal of conversation at functions is to establish enough common ground to determine a reason to connect again. Keeping a conversation rolling is simple when you learn to listen and ask appropriate probing questions that naturally grow from the dialogue. You only need to prepare a couple of questions in advance. If there is a genuine connection then you can proactively engage in conversation. When a person doesn’t participate actively in a conversation with you, that’s a red flag to say to yourself, “Okay, this is not one of my quality contacts, it’s time to move on and meet someone else.”

2. Match the depth of dialogue to the environment. You don’t want to let people overhear confidential or inappropriate information. Plus, talk that is too deep at business functions can lead to heated conversations. Over-heated conversations can quickly be subdued by simply making a closing agreeable statement. For example, say with a smile, “Well, that’s one issue we’re not going to solve tonight.”

3. Your words may be forgotten, but how you make people feel will be remembered. When it comes to small talk, don’t think you must say something strikingly intelligent each time you speak. Your words may be forgotten, but how you make people feel will be remembered.

For Allison’s complete story, please read Hate Small Talk? 5 Questions To Help You Work a Room.